Promoting Schoolwork

The wise in heart are called discerning,
       and pleasant words promote instruction. Proverbs 16:21

This series of posts is in response to this question and comment.

 I'd like to see you address the topic of motivation in schoolwork sometime on your blog. How do we use the Scriptures to instill in our kids a motivation to do their best in their studies? What form should discipline take for children who do not apply themselves the way they should?

In the previous post we saw that schoolwork is something given by God. When homework  presents challenges, we have an opportunity to appeal to the gospel grace of God for strength and wisdom to complete the task at hand for his glory. In other words, schoolwork is part of the providential plan of God.

In this post we will look at how to promote schoolwork to your children. "Promoting schoolwork" may seem like strange language. Sporting events, school plays, and political causes are promoted, but schoolwork? However, the Bible uses this language. Over and over, Proverbs pleads with young people to listen to instruction and warns of the folly of those who ignore it. Proverbs 16:21 assumes that promoting instruction is a good thing, and this verse states a simple but profound teaching principle. The translation quoted above is from the NIV. Let's read three other translations of the same verse; the additional translations help to clarify the importance of way in which instruction is given.

 The wise of heart is called discerning,
   and sweetness of speech increases persuasiveness. ESV

The wise are known for their understanding,
      and pleasant words are persuasive. NLT

Anyone with a wise heart is called discerning,
    and pleasant speech increases learning. HCSB

Pleasant words encourage and attract us; harsh words discourage and alienate. Threats may produce fear and compliance, but they are not nearly as effective pleasant words, which encourage cooperation, enthusiasm, and affection. Pleasant words promote instruction!

Your children need the encouragement of pleasant, sweet words to do their schoolwork in a God-honoring way. You want much more for them than just completed school assignments; you want your children to be wise and discerning in the inner man, and you want them to be drawn to God's ways. From the world’s perspective, finishing the assignment and getting a good grade is all that is required. From a biblical perspective, every challenge carries the opportunity to know God more deeply. This is where pleasant, gentle persuasion from loving parents comes into play. Schoolwork provides an opportunity to hold out the gospel. God’s grace, his help, is available to those who come to him humbly and ask for it. And God is honored when children depend upon him for strength to do the things he has give them to do. God is not honored by attempts to accomplish tasks by the sheer force of human will, apart from the help and purposes of God (Proverbs 19:21).  Use pleasant words to help children see that God wants them to trust him, to come to him for strength for each assignment. That is one aspect of why Jesus died. All of life is about living out the implications of the gospel, and schoolwork, too, is an opportunity to encourage your children to turn to Christ for strength if they do know him, and an opportunity to seek God’s forgiveness and grace if they do not. Don't miss the opportunity to point them to Christ.

How to do it? Let me give an example.  If your child is procrastinating in finishing his work, you might be tempted to say something like this in a stern, almost exasperated, tone: Schoolwork is just part of life; the sooner you finish the sooner you can play. The Bible says not to complain, so stop complaining and get to work! When I come back I expect your work to be done. Do you understand!?

Now, the parent's content is accurate. Schoolwork is part of life. When the assignment is completed other things can be done. Complaining is wrong and needs to be corrected. Setting time limits for getting work done is often a good idea. Making sure that children understand your direction is also a good thing. But, as Christians, we have to be more than accurate. We must also, in addition, speak with love, compassion, understanding and persuasion. Speaking that way is not natural for parents, any more than it is natural for children to their work eagerly with a thankful spirit. Parents need the power of gospel grace as well! James 1:19-20 illustrates the truth of Proverbs 16:21 this way:

My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, for man's anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires.

It is important for your child to know that there is no alternative; he must do his schoolwork. But how this reality is presented is also important. What is going to promote instruction and persuade him to do his work? Sweet, pleasant words delivered with firm resolve. So, let’s recast the above example from the viewpoint of Proverbs 16:21.

You see that your child is not being diligent in completing his task. Your tone is pleasant and sympathetic, but it is also firm, indicating that there will be no alternative to completing the work at hand. Your words might be something like this: “I know it's difficult to do your work sometimes, isn’t it? Is there anything bothering you that is keeping you from doing your work?” If the answer is yes, determine quickly what the problem is. Usually, it will be best to address the issue after the schoolwork is done so that the problem itself doesn't become a way to procrastinate. However, occasionally you may discover something that needs your immediate attention. To continue – “Okay, I know there are other things that seem more interesting. But remember, this work is part of what God has planned for you so that you can know him and learn to follow his ways. God tells us to be diligent . Is there anything about the assignment you don’t understand, or is there something I can help with? Okay, then, let’s pray right now for God to help you focus on your work and ask for his strength to finish. I’ll check back with you soon to make sure things are going well. I know there are some fun things that you want to do, and I want you to be able to get to them as soon as you are finished. I love you.”

Obviously, you will have to adjust the language to fit your situation, but be sure to cover these points in encouraging your child to do his work.

As always, let me know your thoughts. The next post will look at appropriate disciplinary steps to take when your kids resist doing their schoolwork. 

 

 

Comments

[Karen]

Thanks, Jay, for this series. Every child comes with challenges and I am slowly starting to see, with your help, how these challenges are meant to draw me closer to God. I am slowly thanking God for times when I have to stop my agenda and deal with a little heart that is crying out for the Gospel. I have a daughter who is really struggling in the schoolwork area. She left a project that she had 2 months to do until the last minute. She needed more grace and truth spoken to her than I gave to her. I will begin to practice more sweet pleasant words with a firm resolve, even when met with whining and pleading. It is hard, but I am confident the Lord will give me the grace and strength to do it.
Thank you again so much for the time you take with this blog.

[Dan Delavan]

Thanks for the post. I can't help but see immediate applications to our approach to others at church and at work, (even neighbors) whether we are "supervisory" or not.

[Mindy Mayhew]

Thank you sooo much for this series of posts. I have totally fallen into that first example of communicating with my children. I appreciate the gospel-focus presented here and see that I had compartmentalized this area and have not been taking advantage of the schoolwork to promote their desperate need for God's help. We've begun focusing on relational sins among siblings to point out their need for the Gospel, but what a rich daily opportunity the schoolwork also provides.

Again THANK YOU and I look forward to more,
Mindy

[David Hartman]

Jay,

Great stuff as usual. We often forget to pay attention to our tone and body language when dealing with our kids.
I would however suggest that 'sweetness' isn't always the right aproach. Jesus certainly wasn't always sweet or even gentle when dealing with rebelion He was however always loving.
Sometimes kids need a little sterness that is noticed in the tone. Just like with our kid's the biblical issue seams to be one of the heart. If a parent is stern in love it is effective in bringing about the purposes of God if they are not than it is not. A stern word spoken without love is just harsh and tears down the one being spoken to.
Thanks for your willingness to deal with such things in wisdom and for always bringing scripture to bear on the issue. Maybe you could talk about the difference between sterness and harshness in a future post. It is often easy to confuse them especially when dealing with a child who is having 'one of those days'.