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October 30, 2008


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Jay--- This is a fantastic post for the parent of toddlers. It is true that facial expression and tone of voice are two factors that I am aware of that directly affect how my children respond to me.

Case in point: When I tell my two year old to come, her response is far more likely to be positive if I smile at her than if I scowl. I never thought about this response in light of the adornment principle, but I think there might be a connection.

The other points are important, too. I know that I have a lot of work on this area, and I have had to ask forgiveness for my attitude when I discipline. Thanks for the encouragement.

Omar Ortiz

Thank you for your thoughtful response to my question. I have been thinking over your response and have seen where I need to continue to work on how I parent. I really appreciate your blog.


I appreciate your ministry. Thanks for calling on Dads to be Dads. I have a question regarding discipline. I come from a family that has severely strained relationships on all fronts. Mom vs. Dad, kids vs. parents, everyone vs. everyone. When I came to Christ my relationships improved, but the strain is still there and my wife and I are working on that. This strain is what makes the following situation difficult.

We have a 19 month old son and when we visit my parents, he needs to be corrected. Correcting him is no problem for my wife and me, but my mom will yell at him sometimes over us while we are correcting him, or before we can get there to correct. She also will grab him and say "Bad Boy" before we can get there.

I love my mom and to her credit my brother and his girlfriend have let her discipline their kids (12 and 8), so this is how it works for them.

I am not comfortable with the situation. I think discipline needs to fall in my court when I am around. She should just enjoy being a Grandma.

The reason I haven't said anything to her is because of the strained relationships and the fact that my brother has set a kind of norm for how Grandma acts.

How can I deal with this situation in love and not offend needlessly? My mom is in a Bible Study with us...I want her to meet Jesus.

Any help or resources I can look into would be greatly appreciated.

Stacy Robnson

My husband and I are having trouble with this. I don't quite understand how to approach discipline with a joyful attitude (we don't get angry but we are not necessarly joyful about it), especially if my toddler hits and kicks us. We use a low firm voice when correcting and then we spank. One night my husband had to do this over and over and over again. I was crying out to the Lord for wisdom, for my husband and my child.. if this was really the right thing to do or how we were to approach this? Over and over again my child continued to hit and kick after being corrected/spanked.. my husband was not angry but he was firm. We are both new at this, and I'm wondering in this example of my 2 year old son, are we to correct/spank until he stops hitting/kicking? What should we do?

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