The Shepherd Press Blog

What to do about lying

Even from birth the wicked go astray;
  from the womb they are wayward and speak lies. Psalm 58:3

And you were dead in the trespasses and sins in which you once walked, following the course of this world, following the prince of the power of the air, the spirit that is now at work in the sons of disobedience —among whom we all once lived in the passions of our flesh, carrying out the desires of the body and the mind, and were by nature children of wrath, like the rest of mankind. Ephesians 2:1-3

Don Fields’ comment and questions about lying have been on my heart during these posts on lying. Children’s lies are a harsh reminder of the nature of sin. To fully appreciate the immense power and value of the cross in our lives, we must have a profound sense of the ugliness of sin. This awareness must extend to your children as well. My children and your children come into this world as natural enemies of God. They would rather lie than tell the truth. They seek first and foremost to gratify their own passions and desires, even if it means that others will be harmed. They are by nature children of wrath. That is where you must start.

Why Children Lie – Part 2

   

Now Amnon had a friend named Jonadab son of Shimeah, David's brother. Jonadab was a very shrewd man. He asked Amnon, "Why do you, the king's son, look so haggard morning after morning? Won't you tell me?"
   Amnon said to him, "I'm in love with Tamar, my brother Absalom's sister."
"Go to bed and pretend to be ill," Jonadab said. "When your father comes to see you, say to him, 'I would like my sister Tamar to come and give me something to eat. Let her prepare the food in my sight so I may watch her and then eat it from her hand.' "
So Amnon lay down and pretended to be ill. When the king came to see him, Amnon said to him, "I would like my sister Tamar to come and make some special bread in my sight, so I may eat from her hand." II Samuel 13:3-6

Children tend to lie in two types of circumstances. We looked at the first reason in the last post. The response of immediately trying to deny responsibility comes naturally to us and to our children. Children are fearful of the consequences of their sin and lie to avoid them. Christ must be shown as the one who can bring peace to a fearful heart. It is vital that this pattern be addressed quickly and thoroughly. If it is not, then the habit lying will take root and become a means to other ends.

Shepherding vs. Control

When parents see their children lie, the immediate response is something like, how can I stop this! In these situations it is easy to lose sight of the biblical model of shepherding your children and resort to the world’s methodology of control. I have included the following excerpt from Instructing a Child’s Heart which addresses this very issue. Take a look at what Tedd says. It will be helpful to you as we continue this series on lying.

 

Jesus is Life

In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. 2 He was with God in the beginning. John 1:1

Simon Peter answered him, "Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life. 69 We believe and know that you are the Holy One of God." John 6:68

And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am. You know the way to the place where I am going." Thomas said to him, "Lord, we don't know where you are going, so how can we know the way?"

Jesus answered, "I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. John 14:3-6

 

The Gospel of John provides the setting for this final post on life that is truly life. John’s gospel is rich with references to the Trinity. It is rich with Christ. Two themes that we have been exploring are brought to a perfect conclusion by John. We have looked 1) at God’s Word being life and 2) that parents must present life to their children. In the first chapter, John identifies Jesus as the Word of God. Then, in chapter 14, He says that Jesus is life, the life. Christ does not lead toward the illusory life that I Timothy warns us to avoid. No, following Christ leads to life itself, for he is the life.

Life that is truly life

Command those who are rich in this present world not to be arrogant nor to put their hope in wealth, which is so uncertain, but to put their hope in God, who richly provides us with everything for our enjoyment. Command them to do good, to be rich in good deeds, and to be generous and willing to share. In this way they will lay up treasure for themselves as a firm foundation for the coming age, so that they may take hold of the life that is truly life. I Timothy 6:17-19

Paul makes an interesting distinction here. He urges Timothy to instruct people to “take hold of the life that is truly life.” This exhortation comes right after a warning to those who are rich in this world. Much can be drawn from this passage about the use of wealth, but I want to focus on the distinction Paul makes between “life” and “true life.” Recall that Moses urged the Israelites not to take the word of God as idle words, but as their very life (Deut. 32:47). I believe Paul is making the same distinction here in I Timothy.

Mini-Post: Upcoming Issues

Thank you for the excellent questions you sent in response to the Half-way Mark post. We will examine each of them in the coming weeks. Please continue to pray for the blog and for the ministry of Shepherd Press. 

For our new readers, the theme Mini-Post is used to provide updates about the blog or to respond to a story or event that is relevant to families. I would expect to see more Mini-Posts as the election season enters its final stages.

Consider Psalm 78 as it connects to our current series on the Word is Your Life.

O my people, hear my teaching;
       listen to the words of my mouth.

2 I will open my mouth in parables,
       I will utter hidden things, things from of old-

3 what we have heard and known,
       what our fathers have told us.

4 We will not hide them from their children;
       we will tell the next generation
       the praiseworthy deeds of the LORD,
       his power, and the wonders he has done.

5 He decreed statutes for Jacob
       and established the law in Israel,
       which he commanded our forefathers
       to teach their children,

6 so the next generation would know them,
       even the children yet to be born,
       and they in turn would tell their children.

7 Then they would put their trust in God
       and would not forget his deeds
       but would keep his commands.

 

Parents and Life

He humbled you, causing you to hunger and then feeding you with manna, which neither you nor your fathers had known, to teach you that man does not live on bread alone but on every word that comes from the mouth of the LORD. Deuteronomy 8:3

All of us can agree that the challenges of biblical parenting can at times appear overwhelming. Sometimes the responsibilities of parenting can loom so large as to distract us from the promises of God to care for us and the promise that the Scripture provides all that is needed for life and godliness. God calls upon us to be strong and courageous as we take up the challenge of parenting. It is this vital relationship of parents knowing, trusting and finding life from the word of God that is the most significant gift that can be given to children.

Protected From the Heart

How can a young man keep his way pure?
  By living according to your word.

I seek you with all my heart;
  do not let me stray from your commands.

I have hidden your word in my heart
  that I might not sin against you. Psalm 119:9-11

Our children need to be protected by God’s word when they sleep. We know this, at least in part, because Scripture promises it will offer protection while one is sleeping. By implication, those who do not seek the protection the Scriptures offer are vulnerable to spiritual attack during sleep. The question at the end of the last post was How do children acquire this protection? The verses above, from Psalm 119, are a good place to start.

It’s Not Natural – part 2

Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. Ephesians 6:1

It seems that there is actually one more post in this series of communicating the Gospel to your children. Heather, one of our readers, raised an important question about the last post. Here is her comment:

You mention that "Heather has been given only one option." Is it ever appropriate to offer a choice? For instance, "Honey, you can either give the train to your brother and find another toy, or you can play with the train with him." Or should these options be explained at a point when there is “not” a squabble going on (i.e. "here are some ways you can share and act kindly in the future")?

Communicating the Gospel: God’s goodness to your young children

The wise in heart are called discerning,
and pleasant words promote instruction.  — Proverbs 16:21

For wisdom will enter your heart, 
and knowledge will be pleasant to your soul. —Proverbs 2:10

If you have been following this series of posts on communicating the Gospel to your children, you will recall that we started the practical application by looking at teenagers and then working backwards. Now we are at the age of young children and toddlers, ages 0 to 5.

How do you communicate the goodness of God to these little ones? While there are several biblical themes that could be used I am focusing on two Proverbs, the ones listed at the beginning of this post. Remember the premise for this series:  If the knowledge of God is truly pleasant to your soul, your words should match that reality. The goal of your instruction to young children is to so honor God that your children will be receptive to your influence when they become teenagers.