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September 13, 2008


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I have found the need for active listening and picking battles carefully to be so true with our oldest, who will be 13 next month. Allowing her to wear some makeup and shave her legs actually led to more conversation about reasons for modesty in dress. Shopping trips to her favorite "cool" shops, searching for clothes that are modest enough, have led to her opening up on a variety of topics. Today she and I went to see the movie "House Bunny". She rolled her eyes when I said that, if we went, we were going to talk about it but she at least listened when I talked about looking for what motivates the characters. I think seeing that I can appreciate her feelings and the peer pressure at school, while not backing off from a Christian world-view, has allowed me to have more access to her life than I had previously. I just recently finished reading Shepherding a Child's Heart and see that her Dad and I have made many mistakes but we have hope for change and we know we have God's power. Thanks so much!

Berta Myers

Actually we had a situation almost identical to this a month ago where one of my children lied about dating to cover the fact that we don't really allow dating. Thanks be to God that weekend she and I were alone at a soccer tournament and had time to discuss the issue. She was initially sullen, angry and quiet, but I urged her to consider the issue very seriously and decide what she believes. I told her what we would discuss a plan that hopefully could accommodate what she believes, and what we believe with the goal that then she would not have to be embarrassed when she explains it to others. I spend a lot of time explaining why we believe what we do, and then left it open for her to explain how she sees it. She really embraced that idea and it seemed to help a lot.
We haven't finished up with it, but we are willing to modify our stance if that seems the outcome of our dialogue. What do you think?

Ann Stegall

A good reminder- I can remember the struggles of being a teen, even if, in our busyness in the adult world causes me to forget at times.

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