Protection

20 My son, keep your father's commands
       and do not forsake your mother's teaching.

21 Bind them upon your heart forever;
       fasten them around your neck.

22 When you walk, they will guide you;
       when you sleep, they will watch over you;
       when you awake, they will speak to you.

23 For these commands are a lamp,
       this teaching is a light,
       and the corrections of discipline
       are the way to life,

24 keeping you from the immoral woman,
       from the smooth tongue of the wayward wife.  Proverbs 6:20-24

The last post focused on the danger of communication breakdowns between parents and their teenagers. When communication with parents fails, teenagers lose a significant weapon in their battle with the world. The words underlined in the text above could all be translated guard according to Waltke’s commentary. Notice that the initiative here is with the child. The father is urging that his son follow his direction. But the protection will come as the son actively participates in guarding his heart. This is the same sense as Proverbs 4:23 where the son is told, “Above all else guard your heart.” The connection with the instruction given to younger children must not be missed.

 

Toddlers are not good candidates for deep philosophical discussion about worldview. What they do need to learn from parental instruction (and this qualifies as worldview) is that God must be obeyed. Parents must reference God as their authority in conversations and discipline. The world functions according to God’s purposes, not their own. As toddlers grow into childhood, the focus of training is on character development. Your child must learn to move from selfishness to godly character. Then, for the teenage years, the goal is the internalization of God’s truth for living. This is what we see here in Proverbs 6: the young man is to internalize the truth of his parents’ instruction so that he will be protected from the attack of the world, specifically in this case, the advance of the immoral woman. (Shepherding a Child’s Heart, 127-200)

Parents, you must see this vital connection between how you give instruction to your young children and how they will respond to temptation as teenagers. The young people depicted in the Linkin Park lyrics in the previous post have no  regard for their parent's instruction. Because of   this they are vulnerable. This dynamic is essential to grasp, especially in dealing with young children and toddlers. Your focus must go beyond behavior. If your instruction is primarily about stopping squabbles, then what you will achieve is a temporary stalemate. Your children may stop squabbling, but their hearts are unprepared for the attacks that will come. They will not be obeying because God must be obeyed; they will be obeying because it is in their best interest to obey. The use of these same criteria of decision making will not offer protection for them as teenagers, but entrapment. The earlier stalemates may yield devastating defeats later on. Contrast the youth of Proverbs 6 with the one in chapter 7. The youth in chapter 6 knows protection from powerful sexual temptation. In stark contrast Proverbs 7:7 says this about the young man in this chapter:

7 I saw among the simple,
                   I noticed among the young men,
                   a youth who lacked judgment.

This was a youth who lacked protection. This is someone who thinks the words of his parents smother him. Proverbs makes a connection between parents and children that offers a perfect balance between responsibility and accountability. Parents are responsible to present God’s instruction faithfully and accurately. Children are accountable to trust and implement that instruction. This is the meaning of 6:21:  this instruction is to be worn as if it were the finest of adornment. This is what offers the protection.

Verse 24 makes it clear that temptation will be powerful and attractive to young people. The attraction to sin will be presented in the form of something that is highly desirable. The temptation often comes at a time of personal discouragement and offers an alluring fix to a relational struggle. Parents, this is why you must take great care in how you instruct your children. God must be at the center of all you do and say. This is the meaning of Deut. 6:4-7. Your children will be accountable to follow your words. Make those words as attractive and pleasant as possible (Proverbs 16:20-24).

When my children were younger I could offer protection by being with them. I could make sure my eye was on them when we went grocery shopping. When we were at a busy place, like a mall, I would hold their hands. If we were hiking in a park I would often carry them over rough terrain. When they became teenagers my ability to protect was no longer based upon my physical presence with them. They either trusted the instruction given to them or they didn’t. I wasn’t there. But God was. This is the reality you must give your children. Your early instruction of your children must reference God as real, as one who is there. 

Your child will become a teenager who is faced with powerful temptations to follow the lusts of the flesh. If you have teenagers now, they are experiencing those temptations daily. Ask God for the grace to make your instruction something that they desire to bind to their hearts and display to others as fine adornment.

More on this theme in the next post. Think about these things. Why not leave a comment about this subject of protection?

Comments

[bigcubsfan]

My 11yr old son has been in public school now for 2 years and my 10yr old twins are finishing their first (and hopefully last) year. I'm in the military and moving around has had an impact on the many forms of schooling we've used.
My comment is more of a personal testimony. I thought that homeschooling or private christian schooling would help. This year is teaching me that with all the ways my boys are getting into trouble that I wasn't training their hearts well. I'm learning to hope and rest in God's grace to do my fatherly duties out of love for God and my family.
Thank you so much for this practical website.