The Shepherd Press Blog

Let another praise you

“Let another praise you, and not your own mouth;
         someone else, and not your own lips.” —Proverbs 27:2

Karen asked the following question in response to an earlier post.

I find that my children often point out the good that they do. While I do thank them at that point and express how their good blessed me, what words should I use to make sure they do not crave the praise of man? Something to the effect of..."Yes, I am so blessed by your cleaning up without being told, but even more, Your Father in heaven is pleased at what you have done. Seek His praise instead of mine." Do you have any suggestions?

Good question! You’re on the right track with your concern. It is true that we want our children to please God instead of man, but the parent child relationship requires special handling. Let’s look at a couple of principles to hold in balance when we think about this goal.

 

 

Response to Kyle

Praise be to the LORD God, the God of Israel
       who alone does marvelous deeds. Psalm 72:18

No offense intended to the author of this blog entry, or for the one who asked the initial question, but, if Christians are so dead set against bullying, harassment, etc., then why do you constantly promote it towards GLBT kids? If you are so dead set against bullying, harassment, etc., against people per se, then why don't you come out against those who are doing the bullying, etc..., instead of joining in? The National Day of Silence is helping to promote peace between people who otherwise couldn't or wouldn't agree on anything. If Christians want respect, then they need to show it first. Thank you, Kyle - 19, Pennsylania

We received an interesting response to the post regarding the National Day of Silence. His comment and question appear above.

Thank you, Kyle, for commenting. First of all, I want to re-emphasize what was said in my post regarding violence and unkind treatment of others.  It is wrong to be hateful, to mock and hurt others, regardless of their sexual persuasions. Such behavior is simply not an option for Christians who represent Christ.

 

David, Josiah and Mary

20 My son, keep your father's commands
       and do not forsake your mother's teaching.

21 Bind them upon your heart forever;
       fasten them around your neck.

22 When you walk, they will guide you;
       when you sleep, they will watch over you;
       when you awake, they will speak to you.

23 For these commands are a lamp,
       this teaching is a light,
       and the corrections of discipline
       are the way to life,

24 keeping you from the immoral woman,
       from the smooth tongue of the wayward wife.

As we finish this series of posts on Proverbs 6, I want to focus again on verse 22. In the last post I linked to the Rebelution website authored by Alex and Brett Harris, two teenagers who demonstrate the active presence of the Word that verse 22 talks about. They have written a book, titled Do Hard Things; Tim Challies has written a review of the book. This book is helpful for both teenagers and parents.  The Harris brothers are convinced that the expectations we have for what teenagers can accomplish is too low. The negative consequence of setting low expectations is low performance. In other words, if you don’t expect much, you won’t get much. I agree.

 

Do Hard Things

22 When you walk, they will guide you;
       when you sleep, they will watch over you;
       when you awake, they will speak to you.

23 For these commands are a lamp,
       this teaching is a light,
       and the corrections of discipline
       are the way to life… Proverbs 6:22&23

These verses envision a dynamic relationship between the word of God and young people. God’s truth should resonate in the lives of teenagers. The word is living and active. One example of what this could look like in today’s youth is displayed in the lives of Alex and Brett Harris. They are the authors of the website and blog The Rebelution. It is encouraging to see teenagers motivated to do hard things for the glory of God. What Alex and Brett have done shows that teenagers can make a difference. Why not take a look at what they have accomplished?

Why?

19 Now the works of the flesh are evident: sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality, 20 idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife, jealousy, fits of anger, rivalries, dissensions, divisions, 21 envy, drunkenness, orgies, and things like these… Galatians 5:19-21

1 And you were dead in the trespasses and sins 2 in which you once walked, following the course of this world, following the prince of the power of the air, the spirit that is now at work in the sons of disobedience— 3 among whom we all once lived in the passions of our flesh, carrying out the desires of the body and the mind, and were by nature children of wrath, like the rest of mankind. Ephesians 2:1-3

Let’s consider one basic question regarding the issue of protecting our children from the entrapment of the world: Why? As in Why do they want to sin? Why can’t they see that it is more blessed to give than to receive? Why can’t they see that they don’t always have to be first? Why can’t teenagers see that sexual sin is wrong, always wrong? Why can’t they see that parents must be obeyed? The answer, of course, should not really be a mystery.

Protection

20 My son, keep your father's commands
       and do not forsake your mother's teaching.

21 Bind them upon your heart forever;
       fasten them around your neck.

22 When you walk, they will guide you;
       when you sleep, they will watch over you;
       when you awake, they will speak to you.

23 For these commands are a lamp,
       this teaching is a light,
       and the corrections of discipline
       are the way to life,

24 keeping you from the immoral woman,
       from the smooth tongue of the wayward wife.  Proverbs 6:20-24

The last post focused on the danger of communication breakdowns between parents and their teenagers. When communication with parents fails, teenagers lose a significant weapon in their battle with the world. The words underlined in the text above could all be translated guard according to Waltke’s commentary. Notice that the initiative here is with the child. The father is urging that his son follow his direction. But the protection will come as the son actively participates in guarding his heart. This is the same sense as Proverbs 4:23 where the son is told, “Above all else guard your heart.” The connection with the instruction given to younger children must not be missed.

 

From Young Children to Teenagers

20 My son, keep your father's commands
       and do not forsake your mother's teaching.

21 Bind them upon your heart forever;
       fasten them around your neck.

22 When you walk, they will guide you;
       when you sleep, they will watch over you;
       when you awake, they will speak to you.

We will be looking at Proverbs 6:20-24 in the next few posts. In this post we will look particularly at verse 22. This verse talks about the intimate activity of the Word being in the hearts of our children. This is another way to state the truth of Psalm 119:11:  I have hidden your word in my heart that I might not sin against you. This verse is the best summary I know of the goal of biblical childrearing. It ties closely with Paul’s call in Colossians 3:16 to have the word of Christ dwelling richly within.

 

Mini-Post*

Dan has just posted the following comment about today’s post, Young Children, Teenagers & the National Day of Silence.   

You say in your post, "These topics are difficult to talk to adults about, let alone middle school age children. Yet this is exactly what parents, church leaders and teachers must do if we are to prepare our children for the world they will enter." Why IS IT that these things are difficult to talk about? I have some of my own ideas from my personal experience, but would appreciate your insight.

Dan asks,”Why is it difficult to talk about areas of sexual sin?” Let me suggest at least one reason for the difficulty, along with a suggestion for overcoming it. The reason is that it should never be pleasant to talk about things which enslave and bring condemnation upon so many. These types of sexual sins are indeed an affront to God and to his people. They are from the darkness and carry the aroma of death and hell with them. These counterfeit pleasures attempt to draw people deeper into pain and enslavement. They are attacks on the marriage bed. There is a sense that we should naturally, as Christians with new hearts, shrink back from the face of darkness.

 

Young Children, Teenagers & the National Day of Silence.

20 My son, keep your father's commands
       and do not forsake your mother's teaching.

21 Bind them upon your heart forever;
       fasten them around your neck.

22 When you walk, they will guide you;
       when you sleep, they will watch over you;
       when you awake, they will speak to you.

23 For these commands are a lamp,
       this teaching is a light,
       and the corrections of discipline
       are the way to life,

24 keeping you from the immoral woman,
       from the smooth tongue of the wayward wife.

In the last post we talked about the upcoming National Day of Silence. This event is sponsored by the Gay, Lesbian, Straight Educational Network (GLSEN). You can check out the last post for details. In short this group is targeting middle and high schools across the United States in an effort to increase tolerance for those who have unbiblical sexual practices and  desires. These topics are difficult to talk to adults about, let alone middle school age children. Yet this is exactly what parents, church leaders and teachers must do if we are to prepare our children for the world they will enter.

 

 

A Question re: The National Day of Silence

Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness? II Corinthians 6:14

Caleb Land posted this comment with regard to a question that he had that had not been directly addressed in the blog. Thank you, Caleb, for posting this question! I also encourage others of you to comment about issues that have not been directly addressed in the blog, but that you would like to see addressed.